Timeline:
Expectations vs Reality
The Bench Saga
How It Should Of Gone      VS       Reality
April 2023
Following the loss of my dad and my aunt six days later, the Council offers clear information about memorial bench applications and provides the relevant paperwork.
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July 2023
I submit my application for a memorial bench. Within a week
The application is acknowledged and I am told exactly what information is required, including dimensions, approved designs, materials and available locations.
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September 2023
If a policy is needed, it is created, approved and communicated clearly to all applicants.
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October 2023
A site meeting takes place. The location is agreed, measurements are provided, and the specifications are confirmed in writing afterwards.
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November 2023
Before any other bench is approved for the location I requested, the Council checks existing applications and notices that mine is already awaiting a decision.
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Late 2023
If an administrative error occurs, it is corrected promptly. The family is kept updated and a suitable alternative is agreed without months of chasing.
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Early 2024
Written confirmation is provided setting out exactly what bench is suitable, where it can be purchased, and how it should be installed.
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Mid-2024
The bench is installed correctly and safely. The matter is concluded with dignity and compassion.
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2025
Everyone gets on with their lives. No complaints. No disputes. No unanswered emails. No policy arguments. No governance concerns.
If concerns arise, the bench owner is contacted directly. A meeting is arranged. Evidence is shared. Options are discussed. No action is taken until the matter is resolved.
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Throughout the process
Emails are answered. Policies are available. Equality, Diversity and GDPR training are in place. Complaints are investigated independently. Subject Access Requests are acknowledged and handled within statutory timescales.
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Instead of three years of correspondence, complaints, investigations, transcripts, information requests and unanswered questions, there is simply a memorial bench beside my dad's grave and a family able to remember him in peace.
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April 2023 –
My dad, Mike Phillips, died. Six days earlier, we lost my aunt. During our grief, we began making enquiries about a memorial bench.
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18 July 2023 –
I submitted my memorial bench application.
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16 August 2023 – After chasing for a response, I was told no memorial bench policy existed and councillors would discuss creating one.
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October 2023 – The Council advised a new Memorial Bench Policy was in place and applications could be considered.
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November 2023
I discovered another bench had been installed in the exact location where I had applied for my dad's bench. The Town Clerk later confirmed this was an administrative oversight.
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November 2023 to April 2024 – Months passed with little communication, requiring repeated follow-up emails.
19 April 2024 – A site meeting finally took place. I agreed to accommodate the Council's error by sourcing a smaller bench to fit the remaining space.
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Late 2024 – The bench was finally installed after delays, confusion and compromise.
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24 February 2026 – I arrived at the cemetery to discover my dad's bench had been removed. The same day I submitted a formal complaint raising concerns about procedure, communication, GDPR, fairness and governance.
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25 February 2026 – I formally recorded concerns after being told I could only deal with the Town Clerk despite my complaint involving her.
March 2026 – Further escalation emails were sent, a Subject Access Request was submitted and additional concerns were raised regarding policies, governance and complaint handling.
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April 2026 – Pre-action correspondence was issued. Requests were made for missing policies, review histories, risk assessments and disclosure of documents.
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23 April 2026 – A councillor acknowledged internal errors, including that I should have been contacted as the donor rather than the grave owner, and discussions began about resolving the matter.
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May 2026 – Concerns remained regarding transparency, investigation findings, complaint handling and the still outstanding Subject Access Request.
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July 2026 – After continued delays and unanswered questions, I launched Just a Friggin Bench documenting the entire journey.
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August 2026 – Following requests to inspect financial records and obtain information, the latest response from the Town Clerk advises that professional and legal advice has been sought before deciding what information can be disclosed.
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Three years after submitting a memorial bench application, what I expected to be a simple and compassionate process became a case study in delays, administrative errors, policy questions, complaints, GDPR concerns, missing records, governance issues and unanswered requests.
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Then I read the confidentiality disclaimer on today's email and nearly fell off my chair laughing. 😄